Dealing with colleagues

For those of you who’ve had moments when you’ve just wanted to strangle the person you work with, have no fear. Here are ways in which you can cope with that difficult colleague:

1. The Bitch: Characterized by passive aggression and attention seeking tactics, these are the most insecure and vengeful colleagues to watch out for. Both men and women fit into this category, though women are likely to be more slyly malicious. When faced with this kind of a person at work, it is best to simply ignore them to their face while getting back up ready in the form of witnesses to the person's foul behaviour towards you. Ensure that the rest of your colleagues know and side with your side of the story, whatever it may be.

2. The Rat: Characterized by overt friendliness but an air of guarded nosiness, these are your bosses informers or 'spies' as I'd prefer to term them. They often snoop around your conversations with your close friends or are even part of the conversation. Juicy gossip that is likely to get you or other people into trouble, is then duly reported to the boss. It is best to identify these leaks and plug them immediately by having nothing to do with them or giving them a steady stream of "dummy feed" (which is basically stuff you want the boss to hear) to keep them happy.

3. Hitler: Characterized by bossiness, dominance, overt aggression and an obvious superiority complex, these are the type of people who will drive you to work overtime and to their levels of satisfaction because they think you need to keep up to their standards and not drag them down. When faced by a Hiltlerian idiot, simply 'i.g.n.o.r.e' and do your own thing. If they persist, inform them very candidly that as long as you are delivering the goods, it’s none of their concern what your work style is.

4. The Slacker: Characterized by late entries and early exits and conspicuous by their absence before important meetings or presentations. This variety is perhaps the most annoying of all, especially if appraisals are done team-wise. You must be firm with slackers from the moment you notice their slackery. If you let them off the hook once, they will make you the sucker for life. Don't offer to do their share of work by buying into their constant excuses and do not cover up for them in front of the boss. Also, working with friends often leads to slackery and leads to unpleasant situations so avoid it.

5. The Idea Thief: Characterized by laziness and a constant desire to be in the boss's good books, this colleague is also very ambitious but realizes he/she doesn't have the skills to make it to the top, hence resorts to err sharing yours! Publicly demand credit for your work. That is the only way to go. Have written proof of the fact that the idea was originally yours. Get people who know that the work is yours to support you when you confront the person. And don't feel shy to bring up the issue as and when it crops up, or you will be the loser in the end.

6. The Over-friendly moron: Characterized by excessive hanging around your table/cabin, borrowing your stuff without asking, talking about you as if you're best friends, giving you unwanted advice etc. Be polite but aloof if you don't want to have anything to do with the person. Don't start a conversation. When spoken to, answer in monosyllables etc. But never be rude or even offhandedness with a colleague as that can be misconstrued in very bad form and you will be thought of as unprofessional. If the person takes your stuff without asking, don't keep quiet, just go and ask for it saying you were using it and if they had asked, you would have perhaps lent it to them for awhile.

Golden Rules For Every Women

1. The most important person in your life is YOU. Not your kids, not your hubby, not your parents. You will have to take care of yourself first before taking care of others you love.

2. Never depend on anyone else to be happy. Never depend on anyone else to make you happy. Being happy is like a job. You have to do it. It is not optional.

3. Contrary to a lot of ideas you may have got from movies and novels accept the fact that you and your husband are really 2 individuals. Nothing bad about that. If you can accept that, then most of your problems will be solved by themselves.

4. He can have things that he likes, and you may not like them. Instead of forcing yourself do those things with him and ending up bitter, just happily let him do what he wants to and you do things you like.

5. Do not always expect him to do things to make you happy. You do things to make yourself happy. When you are happy you automatically will do things that will make him happy.

6. If he is upset or depressed with something try to find out why. If he doesn't respond just let him be. They don't like to be talkative when they are upset. When he is better, once again let him know you are willing to listen about the problem, but if he still doesn’t want to talk about it, let it go!

7. Just because he is upset or angry doesn't mean that you have to have a long face and give him back the silent treatment. You be cheerful, doing the things you usually do! Talk to him about routine things around the house or jokes, stuff you normally talk about. Talk to friends, play with your kids, go out for a walk, shopping etc. Use this as the time that you have for yourself ... which is a big treat for you. That way you won't be down because he is upset and he can't be upset for a long time because you are cheerful around him.

8. Now what if you are upset. Do things you love to do. Music always cheers me up. Still upset. Talk about my problem to friends. Still upset. Have a good cry ( preferably alone )... cry your heart out without any inhibitions.

9. Still upset. If this is with your husband ... write to him ... seriously a letter will help. If you talk you may cry and not complete what you wanted to say or, yell and say things you never mean or, he may not be in a mood to listen to you. With a letter you will have control over your emotions and not write anything you regret. You will already feel like you are talking to him and told all your problems.

By this time mostly you would have overcome your sadness and a solution will slowly start forming in you. Then you decide whether you want to give it to him. He will definitely read it. If not immediately maybe when he is cooled down. He cannot misinterpret what you have written because it is all there in paper. He will read it at least twice or more and every time he reads it he will get a better understanding.

Still upset !!!! Go to the internet and read the news, look at pictures of a war going on, people killed in bombs, murdered, rape, child marriages, children kidnapped etc. You will feel grateful for what you have and realize how insignificant your problem is.

10. Times when you feel that you two are caught up in a routine and don't really spend time together just drop all your work and go and give him a big hug and a kiss. Don't wait for him. This is your happiness too. Go and do something about it. Then go back to your work. You make a practice of this you can see the difference.

11. Do not worry about what others say or think. Do what you feel is right for you without hurting others. You are the only person you have to answer to and also the only person who have to be better than.

12. Your child is your responisbility. Your kid shapes her thoughts, habits and beliefs of the world, about herself around you. So whatever your life maybe like portray a confident, brave, loving and cheerful parent before her. More than an expensive education or great savings your child needs to see her parents happy. That is the foundation for them.

13. If you feel that your husband is not taking care of the kids and you are overloaded just drop everything and 'become' sick for a day. You will be surprised how well your husband can take care of things around the house. They are just lazy and know that they have a choice. If they don't do it you will. But when you crash he will rise to the occasion. This is 100% true. Everything has to be learnt. Soon your kid may want dad for certain things and you will be more relieved.

I have written things that came to my mind. Not everyone will agree with me. But I am writing this because I am sure this will help lost of women out there.

So be happy and confident and everyone around you will follow suit.

Give Yourself a Boost

No more negativity, no more getting depressed. It’s time to feel good about yourself and your skin. Here are some easy boosters!

1. Wear the right clothes. Don't just follow fashion like a sheep. If a look doesn't suit your body type, then wearing it isn't going to make you look fashionable. The way you look can say a lot about you and influence the way you feel. Start watching what you wear to work. Make sure it’s smart, neat and professional. If you want to be taken seriously, it’s time to start dressing the part. Wear a little make-up to work, just mascara/eye liner and gloss. It won’t stand out as ‘too much’ but will definitely make you feel a little prettier and hence better your own body image!

2. Clichéd as it sounds, exercise is something that really helps you boost your own image. You realize that you are in control, not your tummy. Plus you will end up loosing a few pounds either way and look stunning in your sexy new dress! A good idea is to start each day with a walk/run/swim.

3. Get a haircut. If you have the same hair style you did a year ago (or since 12th grade!) update your look and create a new you!

4. Beauty treatments always help to make you feel better. Manicures, pedicures, facials etc. help make you feel special. If you have time off – treat yourself to a spa weekend, or get a snazzy new hair cut!

5. Retail therapy has a wonderful way of making a really bad day or a really bad mood disappear! Shoes are always a treat for me. But it doesn’t matter what you get, it’s just a liberating feeling!

6. Ask that cute boy out. Muster up the courage and go ahead with it. Or say yes to that guy who's been bugging you to go out on a date. It's just one date and it's nice to feel wanted.

7. Put your self to the test and give up one of your vices. Smoking, drinking, binge eating, starving, honking your horn too much, biting your fingernails, snapping at others needlessly, being overly obsessive – whatever your vice is, kick it!

8. Do something you have been meaning to do, something that is on your to-do list. This could be finishing a book, a project, sending an email you were meant to, running errands around the house. The successful feeling of having achieved a goal, increases self esteem.

9. Try your hand at something new. Anything that challenges you makes you feel better about yourself just for the effort and courage it takes to attempt something new. Try cooking/baking/gardening/pilates/yoga. For the more adventurous – rock climbing/belly dancing/ kickboxing/ wind surfing etc.
10.For those more intellectually inclined – mentally challenge yourself with a task that had earlier foxed you. You may surprise yourself!

11. Don’t depend on anyone else to make you happy. You can do it you self with your very own theme song!! Pick a song, or a few songs that really make you feel happy and glad to be living! When you are feeling low or down in the dumps – listen to it, hum it, heck sing out loud! You’d be surprised how much lighter you feel!

Remember to be yourself. Love who YOU are, only then can you let anyone else love you.