1. The most important person in your life is YOU. Not your kids, not your hubby, not your parents. You will have to take care of yourself first before taking care of others you love.
2. Never depend on anyone else to be happy. Never depend on anyone else to make you happy. Being happy is like a job. You have to do it. It is not optional.
3. Contrary to a lot of ideas you may have got from movies and novels accept the fact that you and your husband are really 2 individuals. Nothing bad about that. If you can accept that, then most of your problems will be solved by themselves.
4. He can have things that he likes, and you may not like them. Instead of forcing yourself do those things with him and ending up bitter, just happily let him do what he wants to and you do things you like.
5. Do not always expect him to do things to make you happy. You do things to make yourself happy. When you are happy you automatically will do things that will make him happy.
6. If he is upset or depressed with something try to find out why. If he doesn't respond just let him be. They don't like to be talkative when they are upset. When he is better, once again let him know you are willing to listen about the problem, but if he still doesn’t want to talk about it, let it go!
7. Just because he is upset or angry doesn't mean that you have to have a long face and give him back the silent treatment. You be cheerful, doing the things you usually do! Talk to him about routine things around the house or jokes, stuff you normally talk about. Talk to friends, play with your kids, go out for a walk, shopping etc. Use this as the time that you have for yourself ... which is a big treat for you. That way you won't be down because he is upset and he can't be upset for a long time because you are cheerful around him.
8. Now what if you are upset. Do things you love to do. Music always cheers me up. Still upset. Talk about my problem to friends. Still upset. Have a good cry ( preferably alone )... cry your heart out without any inhibitions.
9. Still upset. If this is with your husband ... write to him ... seriously a letter will help. If you talk you may cry and not complete what you wanted to say or, yell and say things you never mean or, he may not be in a mood to listen to you. With a letter you will have control over your emotions and not write anything you regret. You will already feel like you are talking to him and told all your problems.
By this time mostly you would have overcome your sadness and a solution will slowly start forming in you. Then you decide whether you want to give it to him. He will definitely read it. If not immediately maybe when he is cooled down. He cannot misinterpret what you have written because it is all there in paper. He will read it at least twice or more and every time he reads it he will get a better understanding.
Still upset !!!! Go to the internet and read the news, look at pictures of a war going on, people killed in bombs, murdered, rape, child marriages, children kidnapped etc. You will feel grateful for what you have and realize how insignificant your problem is.
10. Times when you feel that you two are caught up in a routine and don't really spend time together just drop all your work and go and give him a big hug and a kiss. Don't wait for him. This is your happiness too. Go and do something about it. Then go back to your work. You make a practice of this you can see the difference.
11. Do not worry about what others say or think. Do what you feel is right for you without hurting others. You are the only person you have to answer to and also the only person who have to be better than.
12. Your child is your responisbility. Your kid shapes her thoughts, habits and beliefs of the world, about herself around you. So whatever your life maybe like portray a confident, brave, loving and cheerful parent before her. More than an expensive education or great savings your child needs to see her parents happy. That is the foundation for them.
13. If you feel that your husband is not taking care of the kids and you are overloaded just drop everything and 'become' sick for a day. You will be surprised how well your husband can take care of things around the house. They are just lazy and know that they have a choice. If they don't do it you will. But when you crash he will rise to the occasion. This is 100% true. Everything has to be learnt. Soon your kid may want dad for certain things and you will be more relieved.
I have written things that came to my mind. Not everyone will agree with me. But I am writing this because I am sure this will help lost of women out there.
2. Never depend on anyone else to be happy. Never depend on anyone else to make you happy. Being happy is like a job. You have to do it. It is not optional.
3. Contrary to a lot of ideas you may have got from movies and novels accept the fact that you and your husband are really 2 individuals. Nothing bad about that. If you can accept that, then most of your problems will be solved by themselves.
4. He can have things that he likes, and you may not like them. Instead of forcing yourself do those things with him and ending up bitter, just happily let him do what he wants to and you do things you like.
5. Do not always expect him to do things to make you happy. You do things to make yourself happy. When you are happy you automatically will do things that will make him happy.
6. If he is upset or depressed with something try to find out why. If he doesn't respond just let him be. They don't like to be talkative when they are upset. When he is better, once again let him know you are willing to listen about the problem, but if he still doesn’t want to talk about it, let it go!
7. Just because he is upset or angry doesn't mean that you have to have a long face and give him back the silent treatment. You be cheerful, doing the things you usually do! Talk to him about routine things around the house or jokes, stuff you normally talk about. Talk to friends, play with your kids, go out for a walk, shopping etc. Use this as the time that you have for yourself ... which is a big treat for you. That way you won't be down because he is upset and he can't be upset for a long time because you are cheerful around him.
8. Now what if you are upset. Do things you love to do. Music always cheers me up. Still upset. Talk about my problem to friends. Still upset. Have a good cry ( preferably alone )... cry your heart out without any inhibitions.
9. Still upset. If this is with your husband ... write to him ... seriously a letter will help. If you talk you may cry and not complete what you wanted to say or, yell and say things you never mean or, he may not be in a mood to listen to you. With a letter you will have control over your emotions and not write anything you regret. You will already feel like you are talking to him and told all your problems.
By this time mostly you would have overcome your sadness and a solution will slowly start forming in you. Then you decide whether you want to give it to him. He will definitely read it. If not immediately maybe when he is cooled down. He cannot misinterpret what you have written because it is all there in paper. He will read it at least twice or more and every time he reads it he will get a better understanding.
Still upset !!!! Go to the internet and read the news, look at pictures of a war going on, people killed in bombs, murdered, rape, child marriages, children kidnapped etc. You will feel grateful for what you have and realize how insignificant your problem is.
10. Times when you feel that you two are caught up in a routine and don't really spend time together just drop all your work and go and give him a big hug and a kiss. Don't wait for him. This is your happiness too. Go and do something about it. Then go back to your work. You make a practice of this you can see the difference.
11. Do not worry about what others say or think. Do what you feel is right for you without hurting others. You are the only person you have to answer to and also the only person who have to be better than.
12. Your child is your responisbility. Your kid shapes her thoughts, habits and beliefs of the world, about herself around you. So whatever your life maybe like portray a confident, brave, loving and cheerful parent before her. More than an expensive education or great savings your child needs to see her parents happy. That is the foundation for them.
13. If you feel that your husband is not taking care of the kids and you are overloaded just drop everything and 'become' sick for a day. You will be surprised how well your husband can take care of things around the house. They are just lazy and know that they have a choice. If they don't do it you will. But when you crash he will rise to the occasion. This is 100% true. Everything has to be learnt. Soon your kid may want dad for certain things and you will be more relieved.
I have written things that came to my mind. Not everyone will agree with me. But I am writing this because I am sure this will help lost of women out there.
So be happy and confident and everyone around you will follow suit.
