Golden Rules For Every Women

1. The most important person in your life is YOU. Not your kids, not your hubby, not your parents. You will have to take care of yourself first before taking care of others you love.

2. Never depend on anyone else to be happy. Never depend on anyone else to make you happy. Being happy is like a job. You have to do it. It is not optional.

3. Contrary to a lot of ideas you may have got from movies and novels accept the fact that you and your husband are really 2 individuals. Nothing bad about that. If you can accept that, then most of your problems will be solved by themselves.

4. He can have things that he likes, and you may not like them. Instead of forcing yourself do those things with him and ending up bitter, just happily let him do what he wants to and you do things you like.

5. Do not always expect him to do things to make you happy. You do things to make yourself happy. When you are happy you automatically will do things that will make him happy.

6. If he is upset or depressed with something try to find out why. If he doesn't respond just let him be. They don't like to be talkative when they are upset. When he is better, once again let him know you are willing to listen about the problem, but if he still doesn’t want to talk about it, let it go!

7. Just because he is upset or angry doesn't mean that you have to have a long face and give him back the silent treatment. You be cheerful, doing the things you usually do! Talk to him about routine things around the house or jokes, stuff you normally talk about. Talk to friends, play with your kids, go out for a walk, shopping etc. Use this as the time that you have for yourself ... which is a big treat for you. That way you won't be down because he is upset and he can't be upset for a long time because you are cheerful around him.

8. Now what if you are upset. Do things you love to do. Music always cheers me up. Still upset. Talk about my problem to friends. Still upset. Have a good cry ( preferably alone )... cry your heart out without any inhibitions.

9. Still upset. If this is with your husband ... write to him ... seriously a letter will help. If you talk you may cry and not complete what you wanted to say or, yell and say things you never mean or, he may not be in a mood to listen to you. With a letter you will have control over your emotions and not write anything you regret. You will already feel like you are talking to him and told all your problems.

By this time mostly you would have overcome your sadness and a solution will slowly start forming in you. Then you decide whether you want to give it to him. He will definitely read it. If not immediately maybe when he is cooled down. He cannot misinterpret what you have written because it is all there in paper. He will read it at least twice or more and every time he reads it he will get a better understanding.

Still upset !!!! Go to the internet and read the news, look at pictures of a war going on, people killed in bombs, murdered, rape, child marriages, children kidnapped etc. You will feel grateful for what you have and realize how insignificant your problem is.

10. Times when you feel that you two are caught up in a routine and don't really spend time together just drop all your work and go and give him a big hug and a kiss. Don't wait for him. This is your happiness too. Go and do something about it. Then go back to your work. You make a practice of this you can see the difference.

11. Do not worry about what others say or think. Do what you feel is right for you without hurting others. You are the only person you have to answer to and also the only person who have to be better than.

12. Your child is your responisbility. Your kid shapes her thoughts, habits and beliefs of the world, about herself around you. So whatever your life maybe like portray a confident, brave, loving and cheerful parent before her. More than an expensive education or great savings your child needs to see her parents happy. That is the foundation for them.

13. If you feel that your husband is not taking care of the kids and you are overloaded just drop everything and 'become' sick for a day. You will be surprised how well your husband can take care of things around the house. They are just lazy and know that they have a choice. If they don't do it you will. But when you crash he will rise to the occasion. This is 100% true. Everything has to be learnt. Soon your kid may want dad for certain things and you will be more relieved.

I have written things that came to my mind. Not everyone will agree with me. But I am writing this because I am sure this will help lost of women out there.

So be happy and confident and everyone around you will follow suit.

Give Yourself a Boost

No more negativity, no more getting depressed. It’s time to feel good about yourself and your skin. Here are some easy boosters!

1. Wear the right clothes. Don't just follow fashion like a sheep. If a look doesn't suit your body type, then wearing it isn't going to make you look fashionable. The way you look can say a lot about you and influence the way you feel. Start watching what you wear to work. Make sure it’s smart, neat and professional. If you want to be taken seriously, it’s time to start dressing the part. Wear a little make-up to work, just mascara/eye liner and gloss. It won’t stand out as ‘too much’ but will definitely make you feel a little prettier and hence better your own body image!

2. Clichéd as it sounds, exercise is something that really helps you boost your own image. You realize that you are in control, not your tummy. Plus you will end up loosing a few pounds either way and look stunning in your sexy new dress! A good idea is to start each day with a walk/run/swim.

3. Get a haircut. If you have the same hair style you did a year ago (or since 12th grade!) update your look and create a new you!

4. Beauty treatments always help to make you feel better. Manicures, pedicures, facials etc. help make you feel special. If you have time off – treat yourself to a spa weekend, or get a snazzy new hair cut!

5. Retail therapy has a wonderful way of making a really bad day or a really bad mood disappear! Shoes are always a treat for me. But it doesn’t matter what you get, it’s just a liberating feeling!

6. Ask that cute boy out. Muster up the courage and go ahead with it. Or say yes to that guy who's been bugging you to go out on a date. It's just one date and it's nice to feel wanted.

7. Put your self to the test and give up one of your vices. Smoking, drinking, binge eating, starving, honking your horn too much, biting your fingernails, snapping at others needlessly, being overly obsessive – whatever your vice is, kick it!

8. Do something you have been meaning to do, something that is on your to-do list. This could be finishing a book, a project, sending an email you were meant to, running errands around the house. The successful feeling of having achieved a goal, increases self esteem.

9. Try your hand at something new. Anything that challenges you makes you feel better about yourself just for the effort and courage it takes to attempt something new. Try cooking/baking/gardening/pilates/yoga. For the more adventurous – rock climbing/belly dancing/ kickboxing/ wind surfing etc.
10.For those more intellectually inclined – mentally challenge yourself with a task that had earlier foxed you. You may surprise yourself!

11. Don’t depend on anyone else to make you happy. You can do it you self with your very own theme song!! Pick a song, or a few songs that really make you feel happy and glad to be living! When you are feeling low or down in the dumps – listen to it, hum it, heck sing out loud! You’d be surprised how much lighter you feel!

Remember to be yourself. Love who YOU are, only then can you let anyone else love you.

Dealing With Anger

Getting cut off in traffic, a missed deadline, spilt coffee, a cranky child - it doesn't take much to upset us these days.

A recent study by Yale School of Management professor Sigal G. Barsade and Donald Gibson of Fairfield University showed that 1 in 4 Americans feel at least somewhat angry at work. That's a lot of grumpy people in the office. Add to that the frustration of a long commute and imagine what we're like when we get home at night.

Anger is a normal and necessary emotion. How we deal with it makes all the difference. It's a common philosophy that venting anger is good for you. "It's cathartic," we're told. "Just get it out of your system." But expressing anger through yelling, throwing things, or pounding our keyboards has an incredible impact on our co-workers, our families and ourselves. There are decisive steps we can take to bring anger back under our control. The next time you feel your ire rising you can take action to deal with it in a healthy way.

1. Take a deep breath. Believe it or not, pausing to take a deep breath when you're upset really does help. When you're angry your body releases adrenalin that increases your heart-rate and blood pressure, preparing you to run or to fight. Taking a deep breath helps to bring your heart-rate back down and sends a signal to your brain that the adrenalin isn't needed.
2. Remove yourself from the situation. If you feel your anger mounting, walk away from the situation for a moment to give yourself the opportunity to regain control. Tell the other person that you need a minute and will be back. Take some deep breaths, splash water on your face, jump up and down. When you can think clearly return to the situation and deal with it.
3. Communicate your frustration clearly. General statements using "you always" or "I never" rarely reflect the facts and don't solve arguments. Give specific examples of what has happened and how you are feeling. This gives the other person the opportunity to make amends if they are in the wrong, and helps to clear up confusion.
4. Use a journal. If you find that you are often angry, a journal can be a safe place to scream out your frustrations. Let your anger come out through your pen. Write down exactly who you're mad at and why. If you want to tear it up afterwards, go right ahead. Just getting your thoughts down on paper can be cathartic, and this way no one gets hurt.
5. Learn your triggers. Pay special attention to what it is that triggers your anger and then take action when you find yourself in those situations. If you know that you are more susceptible to anger when you're tired for example, don't have major discussions with your spouse late in the evening. Give yourself permission to say, "This really isn't a good time for me to discuss this. Can we talk about it _____" and set a specific time to discuss it. Setting a time and sticking to it shows the other person that you are not trying to avoid the topic but are genuinely seeking to find a solution.

If anger is becoming a major part of your life get in touch with a counselor. A licensed counselor can help you find the root of your anger and give you specific strategies for dealing with it.